KROEPOEK

so much has happened the last year. now a new one has begun and it feels again like everything is going to change. at the same time, it feels like nothing is going to change at all. we do understand each other much better now we had a good talk. my schoolwork is making a slight process but it does not look like much. it is a start though and a beginning is half of the work. again, if that is true, why does it seem like new beginnings keep popping up? time flies. sometimes that hurts, sometimes that is a relieve. when will I know what to do after high school? when it ends? a month after that? a year? years? I do wish to find out some time in life, who I am and what I want to do with this life. I want to become happy, as does everyone. But this is one of the few things I do not want to fail at, becoming happy. I think about the job I would like to have, it would have to do something with the world, with the wellness of people everywhere, something meaningful for society. What job contains that, I wonder. I'd like to mean something to the world, also to nature. Nature is our breath. Also I want to find wisdom. I'd like to be wise. Knowing things and have opinions on important matters. I'd like to understand people, why the act like they act, where they come from, not in the sence of where you are born, but why are you where you are now? I do not need a lot. I think I can survive without a lot I have today. It is just that at the moment I can not live yet the way I want to. I need to pass my exams first, get out of this dull school. It is not weird that I am sick of it by now. Six years are enough, I need change. Though sometimes change feels odd. It can be hard for people to make changes, because there will be moments of frustration, everything might become uncertain. A lot of people are afraid of the unknown. Others think it is exiting. Change has dangers, but it can also give you a push into the right direction. Whatever that right direction is. Now I am typing my thoughts here, I wonder why I do this. Why would anyone be interested in my thoughts? They probably have enough on their own thoughts already. The thing is that I like to write. Writing, searching for words, I like words. Words are powerful.

Enough now, I need to study, so I can pass my exams, so I can decide what I want to do, so I can do what I want to do. Bye.